My month was fantastic. My girlfriend and I spent the whole month together, and I would consider this a high point in my life. I had a number of struggles - primarily work stress, and in turn, a number of my old problems returning. The difference is, I now have the resources to cope.

THE JOY

We went and got septum piercings together, which we love. The healing was fairly painful, but worth it. Our good friend took us to see a piercer who scoffed at my questions about chip and magnet implants, but he did a good job for a fair price. I have a feeling I'll be returning for more.

We started cooking together. We made laksa, a lot of chicken, matzo ball soup, dumplings, and some other things. We ate well and affordably, only ordering food a few times.

We bought alcohol, I enjoyed my gin very much, and my girlfriend invited a few friends over for drinks and board games. She had a wonderful time.

Keeping up with chores was surprisingly taxing - she didn't like me surviving on meal replacements, so I had to clean the kitchen a fair few times, scoop litter boxes, water plants, take care of myself, do laundry, and work. Of course, these are things everyone does, all the time. I want to acknowledge my difficulty in routine chores. I also want to acknowledge that I did them. Living an independent life is surprisingly exhausting, but worthwhile.

I received affection every day. I showered and brushed my teeth. I smiled and laughed. Things have been good. We toured apartments, and applied for one. I snapped at my girlfriend's father when we asked for some alone time to discuss it - but I don't think it was out of place.

I referred a friend to my boss, we desperately need more programmers. I hope to work alongside her. She would make a valuable addition to the team, and having a second programmer would reduce my stress significantly, which would help me be more productive more often.

I also purchased myself a new guitar, a MIM Fender Telecaster, which I absolutely adore.

THE PAIN

Work has been strange, we are all burned out and things are moving fairly slow. I did get to work on a new project, which was refreshing. I hope to make more changes and take charge, especially after I re approach psychiatry.

I started passing blood and losing strands of hair again, which is concerning. On one occasion, the pain was so bad I considered using my health insurance. I toughed it out.

As soon as I have a permanent place of residence, I will be seeing many doctors. I'm certain it will be worth my money.

The night my girlfriend had her friends over, I was a completely antisocial bitch. I made myself unapproachable, refused to speak, and worked all day as a way of excusing myself. I actually did not want to do any of this, but I couldn't help it. I find people in "my" space threatening, even though they were all wonderful. I feel sorry for the person who genuinely tried to connect to me, just to be repeatedly snubbed with short responses. They deserve better. My girlfriend deserves to be able to share me with the people she loves.

My mental health was up and down, more up than down, but I had moments of paranoia, mostly at night. My sleep suffered horribly. I started taking mirtazapine, which only really worked the first time, and I slept for 14 hours. I believe I also experienced a depressive episode. Loss of motivation and energy, lethargy, as well as gastrointestinal symptoms. Something about that house can be unsettling, but when my girlfriend and I were together during the day, it was great. I still managed to accomplish a lot during our stay.

THE END

I got to spend some time with my girlfriend's cousins, both transmasculine. I had a fantastic time, actually. This is a breakthrough for me. I like them a lot.

Her grandmother misgendered me for the first time, which stung, but it is what it is.

This post feels considerably shorter and less put together than I anticipated, but overall, I had the best and most uneventful month of my life. Things were calm. I had bad moments, but the average was stable and happy enough. With less stressors, it would have been absolutely perfect.

We move into our own apartment next week. Stay tuned.